December 31, 2011

the silent limbo of the past

you rude sonofabitch!! 
Here's to 2012!

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past
.  Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.  
~Brooks Atkinson

December 29, 2011

after the blazing dies

Christmas came and went in a blur. It was lovely, and we gave and received muchly, all with deep gratitude and joy, as is befitting this winter celebration of the dying year, and the world's rebirth...

Now this year is almost over, and I, for one, am glad. Everything has turned out well, but's been hell, and I'll be glad when it's behind me.

I'm looking forward to January, that cold, grey month of thin light and long shadows and the low, low sun.

Burning the Old Year

Letters swallow themselves in seconds.   
Notes friends tied to the doorknob,   
transparent scarlet paper,
sizzle like moth wings,
marry the air.

So much of any year is flammable,   
lists of vegetables, partial poems.   
Orange swirling flame of days,   
so little is a stone.

Where there was something and suddenly isn’t,   
an absence shouts, celebrates, leaves a space.   
I begin again with the smallest numbers.

Quick dance, shuffle of losses and leaves,   
only the things I didn’t do   
crackle after the blazing dies.

December 24, 2011

Oh, Christmas Tree!

Some people wait to decorate the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. I'm not one of those people. But if you are, get busy: today's the day!

for sources mouse over photos

How often has the Christmas tree

Afforded me the greatest glee!

from "O Christmas Tree"

December 23, 2011

right this very minute

It's almost Christmas, and I'm almost ready...but not quite. I've done most, but not all, of the must-dos: tree, decorations, presents are all nearly done. But I'm not quite ready in my heart, either. I'm afraid Christmas will come and be gone without me ever getting fully in the Christmas spirit, and I don't want that to happen. What I want is the wonder, the joy, the giddy anticipation. Am I too old for that?

I think I need Auntie Mame...

For I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder
Grown a little sadder, grown a little older 
And I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder
Need a little Christmas now

Surely that'll do it. Bring on the Christmas!


 The very word brings joy to our hearts. 
 No matter how we may dread the rush, 
the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given - 
when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, 
the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes. 
 ~Joan Winmill Brown

December 22, 2011

which would YOU choose? and WHEN?

18 minutes from now you'll see yourself, your life, and your place in this world very differently. Take this opportunity to be astonished, and inspired. 18 minutes to a new way of thinking... 

p.s. Thank you, Missy, for sharing this with me!

December 17, 2011

closes its eyes

One of the best things about old friends, if you're lucky (and I am, without a doubt), is that even if it's been years between visits, the time apart flies away the minute your eyes meet again, and all the catching up and filling in is accomplished with ease, and guilt, no sadness, just joy at seeing each other again.

We did that, my darling longest loves and I, those dears from forever and always. We laughed and cried and created a terrible, wonderful ruckus and didn't give one damn that we were making a scene. We talked, and shared, and caught up, and it was wonderful. Those faces, those voices, those familiar laughs...such treasures. Carol swears it's been 20 years, and mathematically I know she's right, but in my heart? That's impossible!

Nostalgia has a strong hold on me these days.

Regrets? Not exactly...more like wishes, and mainly the wish that I could have my cake and eat it too. I wish I could be back in Arkansas, my life intertwined with those I've loved so long, living in a place so familiar that it seems to slow the passage of time...I wish I could do that, AND be here, in the separate and beautiful life I made for myself when I left Little Rock 31 years ago. I wish I could have it all. Now that I'm working from home (thank you, former employer, for putting me in a position to make that happen, and thank you even more, new employer, for making it possible!) I plan to make more frequent trips back. I need to refill the well.

Missy, my best friend since babyhood (we played in a playpen together), spent a whole afternoon pampering me at the day spa where she works as an aesthetician, and I left that evening with long, fluttery eyelash extensions, which, although my own lashes are fine and stubby, looked amazing and natural. So fun!

These completely unnatural extensions would be fun, too, don't you think? I'd wear 'em!

All the better to see you with, my dears...

"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes."
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Missy, Laura, Carol, Sherry, Dennis (and Skip!) - I love you!! :)


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