November 11, 2013

joy in the uprooting


I've moved 5 times in 10 years - and 3 of those were in the last 4 years. That sounds like a lot to me. It feels like a lot.

I do love my apartment, though. 

loving room. painting above mantel by mfamb
living room into office
office
kitchen
kitchen
bird bath
I have big windows that let in lots of natural light, a transom over my kitchen door, beautifully inlaid hardwood floors, and 10' ceilings. I also have 2 fireplaces, both non-working but who cares? I just want to decorate the mantels and hearths anyway. My little fire escape deck is just the right size for my forest of houseplants (which are now inside for the winter) and a couple of chairs, and because I'm on the 2nd floor, I have some semblance of privacy, despite the fact that the houses on either side are so close I could practically touch them from here:
living room detail
 I wonder how long I'll be here?

I give you this to take with you: 
Nothing remains as it was. 
If you know this, you can 
begin again, 
with pure joy in the uprooting. 
― Judith Minty


xo, Susan

November 3, 2013

a bit naive and stupidly optimistic

When you  take these looooooooong blogging breaks  are a lazy, distracted, no follow-through blogger like I am, there's always a lot of recapping and catching up to do upon returning. Gap filling.  Revisionist history in the making.

As you may recall, the last recap ended with me on the cusp of saying goodbye forever to my ex wife. What, you don't remember? That's okay, jump over here and re-read it to refresh your memory. I'll wait.

...

...


Ready? Okay, so...

November 1, 2012: The Last Goodbye. It. Was. Awful. Too awful for me to talk about it. Really too awful for me to even think about it. God DAMN it. It was probably, hopefully, the last time I'll ever see her. I say hopefully because there was just too much pain for me to ever want to have anything at all to do with anything or anyone that evokes memories of that pain. Remember Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?



Yeah...

December 2012: The company I worked for downsized the sales team by 50%, and I lost my job. Instead of being freaked out, I was relieved. Weird, huh? After I lost my job, I bought a 1987 Toyota TravelMaster RV. I named her Clementine. Weird, huh?

December 2012 - January 2013: I spent the last few days of 2012 and the first few days of 2013 on the Gulf of Mexico in Texas, camping on the beach. It was lovely, gray, sandy, wet, cold, rainy. Perfect.

January 2013: Visited my best friend in Arkansas. My friend I've known since we were babies in the playpen together. My best friend for literally my entire life.

my beautiful bestest, and me

February 2013: Spent a month in Arkansas, visiting friends and family, camping in Clem with my 4 dogs. My house was broken into while I was gone. Little fuckers stole $70 out of my change jar (but not the jar) and some of my jewelry. They were careful not to make a mess. It was weird, and I was pissed, but relieved it wasn't worse.

March 2013: Discovered that I like college basketball a lot, if "my" team is in the playoffs, winning, and watching the games involves drinking lots of bourbon at the bar with a rowdy crowd of friends and fellow fans. Go Cards!!  Meanwhile, my 82 yr old Mom fell and hurt her arm. Her living alone in south Arkansas began to seem less and less doable. I spent a week with her while she recovered...

April -May 2013: Susan the Social Butterfly mode reached full swing.  There were lots of goings on and goings out with my friends, including planning and pulling off a BRILLIANT "Derby de Mayo" Party to celebrate both the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo. 

I make a mean motherfucking Mint Julep!
The secret is the homemade minted simple syrup.
Dangerously delicious.

Sparkle on!
Also in May 2013: My mom, my sister, and I decided that my mom would move from Arkansas to Kentucky, where we would buy a duplex, and Mom and I live together-but-not. This would enable her to stay out of Assisted Living for as long as possible. Reaching this decision was NOT simple or straightforward, and was complicated and influenced by some serious hard feelings between me and my sister. Then, in what seemed like a good idea but probably wasn't, we ended up buying this gem - a 113 yr old brick Italianate 3 story home that has been converted to a triplex, with a 1 BR apartment on each floor, one for Mom on the first floor, me on the 2nd, my sister on the 3rd.

The new digs...

June 2013: Spent a week and a half with my sister in south Arkansas packing up my mom's house. HOLY SHIT, so much stuff! Plus many weird memory jogging, highlights reel, time capsule-esque moments. (Also in June: I reconnected with my first love, from high school. My first first. That is a whole other story, a whole tale unto itself that is still unfolding, revealing itself like a flower in bloom.)

Watch this, volume up. You won't be sorry. It'll totally make up for the previous video, I promise...



July 2013: Moved out of Pope St, and into the new place. My sister followed 2 weeks later, and my mom a week and a half after that. My sister and I unpacked and settled my mom's apartment so she could move right in, which she did.

Since then we've all been getting really settled in, adjusting (?) to the new living situation and dynamics. It hasn't been easy. In fact, I know that this is a spiritual test or karmic crucible or some shit, and that this is my chance to work out my shit with my sister. Those blooming flowers couldn't have come along at a better time.

Over, under, around and through all of that, there have been weddings, middle of the night motorcycle rides, concerts, road trips, breakfasts/lunches/dinners with friends and family, beautiful bawdy body-con burlesque shows by the Va Va Vixens, and a play about Frida.



So, now that we're all caught up on my life, tell me - what have you been up to?


“Because with time blocking out the bad, 
memory is always bound to be a bit naive and stupidly optimistic.” 
 ― Guy Delisle, Shenzhen: A Travelogue from China


xo, Susan

November 1, 2013

in a rush of howling winds


A big storm blew through last night, howling in from the west, tossing trees and leaves around with wild abandon. Perfect for Halloween, even if it was hell on Trick-or-Treaters. I'm not sure if it was the wind or a goblin that tossed my rosemary bush off the porch, shattering the clear blue glass ball that presided over it atop an iron rod and crowned with a fleur de lis. The huge flowerpot it was in is gone entirely. Either way, I have a mess to clean up.

Like everyone everywhere is saying today, I can't believe it's November already. It's just shocking to realize that Christmas is next month. I guess it's time to put the jack o'lantern's away.

Or I could decorate the Christmas tree like this...


Not really.


“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.”   ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


xo, Susan

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin